I'm not a perfect mommy...I don't have a perfect baby. There I said it, as soon as I said it out loud, I felt 100 pounds lighter. I had a conversation with my friend Erin this weekend, who offered support because her baby had some of the same difficulties I was experiencing with mine. She said she had this idea of her baby when she was pregnant and how it was going to be when the baby was born and she had a hard time when he was born realizing he wasn't the perfect baby she visioned. I soon realized after our conversation I had the same dreams...
Being pregnant, I had all these ideas firmly planted in my head about the baby. He was going to have a schedule and he was going to sleep beautifully, I was going to breastfeed and he'd be healthy, he would love tummy time and learn to roll over early AND he was going to sleep in his crib the minute I went back to work.
I'm thankful now, 12 weeks into this mommy business, I can laugh. I can laugh at myself, I can laugh at those dreams, I can laugh at the things I "Google" these days, I can laugh at my baby. But more importantly I've learned in 12 weeks, that I'm not a perfect mommy, I don't have the perfect baby...but together, we are PERFECT.
Someone knew, being a strong believer in my faith I'm sure it was God, that Eli and I belonged together. God knew that Eli's troubles matched with my troubles were precisely what we needed to survive this life together. And after realizing that as individuals and humans, we're NOT perfect, I began to completely understand how unconditional love can make two people perfect in each other's eyes.
This blog is for my own selfish theraputic reasons too...but it's also for Erin, who like me wished there was someone who was honest with her instead of judgemental or throwing advice her way about what worked for their perfect baby. There's not a perfect baby out there...there's not a wrong way or a right way. And that may be all I need to know while I raise Eli....
